So it seems that Southern California is a hotbed of activity for new product trials. The FritoLay company (In MSG We Trust) has replaced one of my favorite snack chips off all time with a haughty substitute that surely does not merit the hallowed name of Funyuns.

Funyuns with Wasabi. Mildly amusing Bud Light commercials aside, I have nothing against Wasabi as a thing in its own right. I do, however, take great issue with the violation of mixing this flavor with Funyuns. You see, Funyuns have a great flavor in and of themselves. They didn't need any help!

I found myself searching through the grocery store shelves a couple of weeks ago in an attempt to find a normal bag of Funyuns with which to enjoy while eating sammiches at various intervals throughout that coming week. I found one lone bag, stuffed way in the back, surrounded by these his traitorous brethren. There was much rejoicing.

Today, after my twice weekly walk that only happened once, I decided that it would be nice to stop by a local Stop-N-Rob 7-11 and acquire a, "Big Grab" bag of Funyuns to have with my sammich for lunch. To my horror, this store carried nothing but Funyuns with Wasabi. So I, being the highly adventurous fellow that I am (stop laughing) decided to purchase some because, after all, how bad could it be?

As if falling asleep at my computer desk last night wasn't punishment enough, I had to go off and not give this situation the proper consideration that it required. I opened the bag to a blast of fairly putrid air. However, the chips themselves looked fine. I could discern no major difference. At least until I tasted one.

My first reaction was one of spiked interest; they tasted exactly like they smelled. That is, the inside of a toddler diaper that has been filled to capacity. Much like those Olean chips that failed, this has to be made of something that was not meant for human consumption.

So my question is this: Who came up with this pinnacle of great ideas and why have they not been flogged yet? This stuff is horrible and I want my regular Funyuns back quick, fast, and in a hurry, please. My shouldn't-be-eating-chips-but-does-because-they-go-so-darn-well-with-sammiches body thanks you.

Editor's Note: This entry was originally posted on DownToZero.Org.